Episode #6: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Mrs. Vida Leigh, the school librarian, came to a dead stop at the magazine rack. She snatched off a “Newsweek”. She knew good and well she hadn’t approved yet and began ripping out pages and pictures she deemed offensive. Once the entertainment section and anything about Democrats was in a ball in her pocket, she smiled and slipped it back on the rack.

It was the first day of the new school year, and the library was already full of seniors. She hated that the school board insisted they use her library for a homeroom. What made her even more unhappy was that the assistant football coach was the homeroom teacher.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Coach Wren, although she didn’t, she was convinced that school wasn’t any place for sports. She deemed anything that caused people to sweat or push others down was sinful, unless of course you were doing it for the Lord.

She took a seat behind the book check out, the high stool so she could look down over everyone, and gazed at this year’s crop of seniors. There was Garland Pitts, 22 and finally a senior. He was stupid as all get out, but at least he wasn’t a quitter, she thought.

Well, it wasn’t too bad a crop. There were six other senior homerooms. If she and the Home Ec teacher couldn’t get a few of them expelled or to quit there would be 99 graduating, tying with the most ever to graduate in a single year. Face it, there weren’t ninety-nine people in this county that deserved a good education.

In walked that nasty Broderick Moretz. Mrs. Leigh squinted her eyes as he took a seat at one of the tables. He was in for a surprise. He wasn’t going to get away with anything this year. She couldn’t prove that he taped the faces of Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich on that picture of the couple copulating she’d found in the boy’s locker room, but she just knew he’d done it. He was going to pay and she was gonna make him.

She slipped off her stool and stomped right over to him. “What do you think you’re doing, young man?”

Brod looked up at her. “Reading.”

“And who gave you permission?” She put her hands on her hips.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Leigh.” He closed his book and looked up at her. “This is the library, I just assumed…”

“You know what assuming does Broderick Moretz? It makes a you know what out of you and me.” She harped and looked down out the cover. “And we do not allow THAT kind of trash to be read in this school!”

Brod’s cousin, Modene, leaned over, looked at the book and back up at Mrs. Leigh. “The Bible?”

Mrs. Leigh pointed at it. “That is NOT a King James! Filthy filthy trash…”

Modene cleared her throat. “Mrs. Leigh weren’t you suspended last year for forcing your unsolicited religious views on a student?”

“I was helping that young lady!” She snapped.

“You were trying to perform an exorcism on Marcella Tater.” Modene reminded her flatly. “She still can’t walk past a water fountain without having a flashback.”

“I don’t know how that rumor got started.” Mrs. Leigh decided she’d better calm down and walked away.

“You shouldn’t mess with her like that, Modene.” Brod chided his cousin. “Copperheads always strike a second time.”

“Pooh!” Modene waved her hand at him. “The only reason that woman’s still here is cause Arzella Tater didn’t want any proof what a slut Marcella is brought up in court.”

“Still.” Brod shook is head and put his New King James Bible back in his backpack. “And thank you. How you holding up?”

Modene took a deep breath. “Fine.” She reached over and squeezed his hand. “How ‘bout you?”

Brod smiled. “Oh just fine. I’m trying to look at it as a big adventure. It ain’t ever day that a big ol’ murder investigation lands in yer family tree. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up a Lifetime movie. That’d make Maw Maw happy.”

Modene laughed. “That’d be fun. I bet they’d get Valerie Bertinelli to play Maw Maw. She’s a good actress.”

“I was thinkin’ maybe Colin Farrell or that Mohawk guy from Glee could play Ronnie.”

“Mind of I sit here?” A new face asked.

“Not’all.” Modene smiled at the boy and shoved a chair from under the table with her foot. “Sit a spell. I’m Modene and this here’s m’cousin Brod.”

The new boy put his stuff on the table and nodded his head as he sat down. “I’m Jeff Neff. I just moved here from Maryland.”

“Nice t’meet cha Jeff Neff from Maryland.” Modene batted her eyes.

“You!” Came the squall from across the room.

Jeff bolted up straight. “Me?”

Mrs. Leigh came strutting over with her hands on her hips. “New kid, I would be more careful of my choice in friends if you wanna survive this school.”

“Oh, Mizz Leigh, it ain’t like we got cooties.” Modene looked at her. “Besides there’s only two empty chairs left, he took one and the other’s beside him.”

“Well…” The librarian grinned. “Maybe that should tell the two of you somethin’. I’ve got my eye on all three of ya…now…” She smirked and sashayed back to whatever rock she crawled out from under.

Brod leaned over. “Don’t pay any ‘tention ta her.” He pointed to his temple and made circular motions. “S’what brings ya here from Maryland?”

Jeff looked down at his stack of notebooks. “Well, my mother passed away last winter and my Stepdad and I decided to start over.”

“Ya stayed with yer Stepdad?” Brod asked.

Jeff nodded his head. “Never really met my real father, and my Stepdad practically raised me. He’s cool, kind of a best buddy and a father all in one.”

“That’s cool.” Brod smiled. He shot a glance over at Modene and then took her hand. “You okay, Modene?”

She smiled and nodded her head.

“Did I say something wrong?” Jeff asked.

“Naw, honey.” Modene looked at him. “My Daddy died a couple a weeks ago. Still hurts.”

“I understand.” Jeff tried to comfort her. “My Mama hasn’t been gone a year, and there’s still a big ache sometimes. But you’ve got to go on, Modene. Your Daddy wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Thank you.” She looked up, waved and pointed. “Deanna, over here.”

The trio looked in the direction of Modene’s shouting. Deanna Morely waddled toward them dressed in over sized overhauls and a flannel shirt. She puffed as she slammed the books she carried in front of her down on the table and had a seat.

“Is it jus’ me, or is it hot in h’yere?” She grunted.

“Probably jus’ you, girl.” Modene said. “It’s the dog days a summer. What’cha got a long sleeve flannel shirt on fer?”

“M’ kids is all got sick an’ it’s all I could find clean.” Deanna leaned back in her chair. “I thought about jus’ quittin’ but I figger I got this far might as well finish up. 'Sides I don' wanna be like my mama and not get her diplomer afore her oldest started school.”

“Kids?” Jeff was dumbfounded. “You’ve got kids?”

“Yup. Ever one looks like m’husband only with more boogers and less poop.” She ripped a page out of her notebook and made a fan.

“I haint seen Eubie lately.” Brod said. “He still at the muffler shop?”

“I reckon.” Deanna start waving herself with the paper fan. “We done split up.”

“Oh, honey.” Modene frowned. “I’m sa sorry.”

“I shoulda listened to my paw. He wanted us ta wait ta get married til I started High School, but I was thur’teen and in love.” She blew out some air and rubbed her belly. “I larned my lesson. My daughter ain’t even gonna be allowed ta date until she’s eleven.”

“You got married at thirteen?” Jeff couldn’t believe it.

“Yes’sir.” Deanna looked at him. “I was smart though. Eubie was twenny one and had a good job, so’s I could stay in school er at least I thought it was smart at the time.”

“I don’ mean to be nosy, Deanna.” Modene leaned in. “Why’d ja break up?”

“Aw.” Deanna slammed the fan on the table. “I dint ask and he dint tell, but that weatherman from channel 39 sure did.”

“That’s a Fox station.” Modene nodded her head. “They’s pretty liberal.”

“I shoulda known somethin’ was wrong.” Deanna sniffed. “Eubie got ta whar he was only frisky after watchin’ Dancin’ With the Stars".

“That Dereck Hough is a hottie.” Modene told her.

“Reckon Eubie thought so.” Deanna picked her fan back up.

Modene turned her head to look at Jeff with a big smile on her face. “So how ya likin’ Johnson County so far?”

“Just got here yesterday. M’Dad has been here a couple of days, so I haven’t seen much but the school.”

“Ain’t a whole lot here.” Brod told him. “Me an’ Modene can show ya round the county after school if ya got ten seconds ta spare.”

“That would be nice.” Jeff smiled. “I can’t get over the fact that the school’s round.”

“Don’t know why.” Modene said. “Unless they gots the plans mixed up with a Tetley tea bag.”

Jeff got a strange look on his face. “My feet are wet.”

“Huh?” Brod said.

“All of a sudden my feet are wet.”

Modene cocked her head. “Mine, too.”

“Dayam.” Deanna cursed.

“Whatsa matter with you?” Brod asked her.

“My water done broke.” She moaned.

“Yer water?” Modene piped up.

“Ohhhh.” Deanna grabbed her belly and put her head on the table. “The baby’s comin’’.

“Baby?” Jeff stood up knocking his chair over.

“Thought you said you an’ Eubie split up?” Brod leaned back in his chair and asked her.

Deanna lifted her forehead off the table and glared at him. “He left me a little partin’ gift.” She moaned and put her head back down.

“Somebody do something!” Jeff began to panic.

“Mizz Leigh!” A kid at the next table yelled not bothering to look up from his card game. “Morely’s in labor agin!”

“Call a paramedic!” Jeff rushed to Deanna and tried to help her lay down on the floor.

“Calm down, Jeff.” Modene nonchalantly reached for her purse, looking for her cell phone. “Happens all the time.”

Mrs. Leigh sauntered over to Deanna, Jeff having stretched her out on the floor. “Deanna Morely!” She scolded, bending over to look down at her. “You know you ain’t allowed to be pregnant an’ come ta school.”

Deanna grabbed her belly and looked at her. “Gimme five minutes an’ I won’t be.”

“I’m gonna tell yer mama!” The librarian warned.

“Why?” Deanna groaned. “Accordin’ ta you, she cain’t come ta school neither.” Deanna groaned and curled up in a ball.

“Oh God!” Jeff got on his knees and tried to figure out what to do. He looked up at Mrs. Leigh. “Get a book on child birth or something!”

Mrs. Leigh put her hands on her hips and raised her over plucked eyebrows. “We don’t got any books with dirty pictures in 'em young man. You just git those sinful thoughts right outta yer head.”

Modene put her cell phone away. “Just hold it in a little while longer, Deanna. I called the Rescue Squad.”

“Oh, thank ya, Modene.” Deanna groaned in appreciation. “If it’s a girl, I’ll name it after you.”

“Great, two little girls named after a toilet cake.” She mumbled.

The class bell rang. Suddenly the library came to life with students standing, scooting chairs under the tables and stepping over Deanna to get to class.

Brod stood and gathered his books. “Deanna, you be okay?”

“Oh sure, honey, ya’ll run along. I done this afore.” She shooed Jeff away. “Onect the rescue squad gits here, I’ll spit this kid out like a paint ball.”

“I can’t just leave you here like this.” Jeff protested.

“That’s so sweet. But I’ll be fine.” Deanna told him.

Modene handed Jeff his stack of books, “Com’mon Jeff. She’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” He asked.

Brod nodded then looked at Deanna. “I’ll tell Mr. Dyer you’ll be late for science.”

“Thanks, Brod. ‘Bout fifteen er twenny minutes if ain’t twins..agin.” Deanna smiled.

As they walked off, Mrs. Leigh nudged Deanna with the toe of her high heel. "You're a cleaning up this mess. I sure ain't."

Brod put his arm around Jeff’s shoulders and ushered him out into the hall. Modene following right behind. “So Jeff, you gonna try out fer football?”

“I doubt it.” Jeff turned back to look at the library. “Do you think I should tell my Stepdad about this?”

“He a doctor?” Brod stopped and asked.

“No.” Jeff looked at him. “He’s the new principal of the high school, Mac Moretz.”

Brod took his arm from around Jeff’s shoulders. “Dude. Stay away from me!” He stomped down the hall and out of sight.

“Did I say something wrong?” Jeff asked Modene.

“Mac Moretz is Brod’s daddy.” Modene smiled broadly. “Welcome to the family.”